First, thanks for all the kind words. My writing and your words are both truly therapeutic.
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My father grew up in the depression and always kept the classic depression mentality. After high school he entered the army (WW2). He never went overseas during that time.
After WW2 he took the GI bill and enrolled in the Hebrew University in Jerusalem. Apparently he was not a serious student at that time, but his time in the country that became Israel was very important. He met my mother (she is a sabra) and joined the Irgun. They were there for Israeli independence.
He then came back to the US, obtained his bachelors degree from CCNY, his masters degree from NYU and did his doctorate coursework at NYU. It would take about 10 years before he finished his thesis.
We moved to a small town in southwest Virginia – Marion, Va – in 1954. It was there that he had the opportunity to interview accused criminals awaiting trial. Thus he became a forensic psychologist, not by plan, but by serendipity. He became an expert on the question of sanity.
During my adolescence we would often discuss murder trials at the dinner table. Likely I was one of few high school students who understood the McNaughton Rule and the concept of irresistible impulse.
It was during those discussions that we began many discussions of interviewing technique. I believe that my skills in history taking all come from the lessons my father taught me. We talked often about pacing. He taught me the power of silence. Mostly he emphasized the importance of talking your time to get the history correct.
After he received his Ph.D. we left Marion to move to Richmond, Virginia. He became the chief psychologist for the Commonwealth of Virginia. Over the next 20 years he held 3 major administrative positions. The other two positions were with the American Psychological Association in their D.C. office and with the Head Start program.
For the last 10 years of his employment, he returned to forensic psychology. He loved interviewing criminals and testifying in court.
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I saw him yesterday prior to flying home. He is unfortunately confused, but remains comfortable. The hospice team seems wonderful. He is accorded dignity during the end of life, and that is all anyone can desire.